Best Fathers Day Gift

My dad was the typical conservative tamil dad. Till 10th I had to remind dad about which class I am in when he introduce us to some guests. But I remember he taking me and my sis for rides in the moped, no matter how tired he is from office. And the best part i remember is that, we had school for 6 days a week and dad also worked 6 days a week, but sunday are always special because we get to sleep in late in the morning and we had appa as company! Sundays were always marked by late mornings with dad and evening pakodas by mom. Also on sunday dad used to sit with sunday newspaper and no matter even if we jump on top him, he was always in a happy mood.

Though conservative he never stopped me or my sister. He was always careful about others opinion but in home we were allowed all things. He never forced us, either for studies or for others. Though a stare from him is enough to make us quite, he never hit us. And if we fall sick, he will be the most worried person. Every 5 mins he will check on us, make us comfortable and so. Mom was always the rational one and dad the emotional.

He was always concerned about everyones comfort and well being. Even at the ripe age of 70+ he still like that. Anyone asks for help, he is there no matter how hot the climate in chennai is or how sick/tired he is. All rely on him, whether to run to courthouse for somebody's divorce or to hospital for somebody who is bedridden.

In all this midst, if i wish him happy fathers day, it will be both meaningless and empty. He never expected returns for all his actions. He never asked for tropies or accolades. He does everything for family. For him father's day is not there, its just a marketing gimick. So in this case even gifts become ridiculous. So when I think what could be an ideal gift for him and any dad. I would say a 'Hug' will work in a beautiful way. My dad is a shy person and also one who can't and won't express his love in PDA. So a hug will be best gift. Hug is free of cost, so he cant complain that I am spending money and still express all the things a good gift should do.

This father’s day, I am expressing my love towards my dad by participating in the #HugYourDad activity at BlogAdda in association with Vicks.

My first expert

My mother was always the expert at home. She was a graduate when girls were hardly allowed to complete schooling and to top it she was a gold medalist in her graduation. She had a career when people thought that girls are only a burden before getting them married and to top it she was working in an airlines wherein all famous personalities of yester years used to queue up infront of her! I was always in awe of my mother. But inspite of her achievements she was The most down to earth person and the most pratical one too. She was also a feminist more in her actions than in her fights. She never fought for her rights but she just took them very politely. Though sitting in a chota-mota village, she managed to keep her knowledge updated.

 

 Here is what she taught me
1. Your circumstances need not dictate who you are. Sitting in a small village, she managed to achieve so many new skills and positions. We were all recognized by her name
2. You need not be a great cook to be a great hostess. Though she never was a good cook, she never shied away from it. Whether its burnt or innovative, she made it. She also ensure that all guests are served the same and had eaten too. I have never seen her waste food, good or bad.
3. Hospitality actually means hosting a party without its expenses. She used to communicate so well and her knowledge is so wonderful, that the guests usually forget what they are eating and where they are eating. She made everyone forget their surroundings.
4. Always look for opportunity to keep you engaged. Though she used to gossip with neighbors or idle away time reading novels, she made sure she kept on learning new things, whether its making garlands,stitching clothes or making bags.
5. Whether you are good or not, experiment. She taught us not to become stale with cooking, she gave us the passion to experiment whether its a success or not is secondary
6. Communicate, age no bar. She used to interact with each and everyone, whether its my dad's boss or whether its neighbors daughter or whether its long lost friend. I have never seen her out of words. Introvert/ extrovert or anyone doesn't matter she used to talk. My father never uttered any word to his dad but my mom and thatha used to chat all day long!
7. Passion for Maths. She was a gold medalist in her maths graduation and because of her it became my favorite subject.
8. Always have a smiling face. She used to smile when getting scolding, when serving burnt food, when people criticize her appearances. She used to laugh at herself before others do.
9. Though no matter how much she can talk, she always listened to what the other person says. She never pestered with opinions or orders, she always listened.

She is always the expert in anything and everything and whenever I face difficult decisions I'll always ask, what would she have done now..
Now follow godrej on what experts think..http://godrejexpert.com/single_used_pack.php

EkNayiLeague

When I was a kid, the only sports I knew existed is Cricket. Though we played so many games as kids, when somebody speaks about sports, its always cricket. Cricket was the ultimate game, there was passion, there was energy. I learnt the true meaning of patriotism in a India verses Pakistan cricket match. Though in school we used to have many sports activities, like football, volleyball, kho-kho, hockey but when it came to professional sports, cricket always stood out. And cricket was always synonymous to great names like Kapil dev,Rave Shastri, Gauvaskar, Sreekanth and later evolved to include Sachin, Dravid, Ganguly. They were always thought about in par with superstar heroes of movies like Rajini kanth & Vijaykanth (remember as a satanch Tamilian, I never knew about Amithab other than the name:))

But recently Cricket as such has undergone a revolution. Gone are the days together 'Test' matches, even ODI are out dated, IPL are the new season favorite. Somehow after 1998 world cup and the De-glamorizing of cricket, I lost the interest in them. May be I was watching it with dil-se and I was heart broken when I came to know that Cricket is also just another game played not by legends but normal corrupt mortals!

But still some part of me even now regards Kapil dev, Sreekanth, Gauvaskar in a pedestal. So recently I watched the you tube ads of Kapil Dev's 'Ek Nayi League'. Have you watched them? Kapil is as usual charming, but more than that he says he is getting a new league in place, which if played 'dil-se' will be a 'hit-wicket'. Basically the ad conveys something that we are
even now doing with cricket. We play and also watch it with 'Dil-se', may be if we remove this emotional quotient, you get to play a game as a game. Like how we played during our childhood days. You don't play for the scores, you don't play for the awards, you don't play to win and you don't play to lose also. This league promises something like that..
Remove the 'Dil-se' part, we will get a Game which is played for just that, not for money, not for awards, not for winning. That would be like going back to the true spirit of games. You play just for playing, you play for yourself, nothing else. Ohh... now I am all piped to see what this 'Ek nayi League' of Kapil Dev's is all about. You too piped to know more about it?. Go watch and start dreaming about this EkNayiLeague like me. Happy Watching/ Waiting. You can also have a guess about it, like how I did. Nothing wrong in dreaming.

Here is the site http://www.eknayileague.com/ and the same can be followed in twitter by following @eknayileague or hashtag #EkNayiLeague

My mobile phone

When my sis got married, my athimbar's first gift to me was a mobile phone. He was a very practical man, he foresaw that rather than 'phata' my salli with clothes and stuff, he swooned me with a gadget! That was a time when mobile was a true luxury item. After giving the gift the 1st advice I got from him, don't show off with this, but rather hide in your bag and NEVER call from this and ATTEND calls in this. So following his wise words, mobile is just a device thru which I parents can reach me and not track me. This will give a miss call and I'll call them from land line! Because those where the days when you are charged for incoming s too!! Can you believe! All this show is for Nokia 3310! It was held precious than my wallet!

But you have to give it to 3310, he served me loyally for the next 8 yrs! Though I used to get angry and throw, 3310 never left me, for that matter he is still with me and still works if needed!

Then came the phase when incoming were not charged, roaming charges was removed and the golden days of mobile has begun. I gave my 3310 some rest and got a camera phone. But alas he was not able to survive in my kids hand and soon died. Then during the time I was a SHAM, mobile was always treated as a child play thing, to keep the kid company for some time. Then came the Blackberry, which introduced us to concept of smartphone. It gave me the insight that phone is just not for calling, I can use it for much more. So when I joined back to work, I started my hubs blackberry, though my hubs has moved to android that time itself. That was still when social media was in its early phase.

But unfortunately I lost the black berry while grocery shopping.

Now I started feverishly hunting for touch phone in flip kart which would serve my purpose of connecting with social media, entertaining kids, browsing and so. This search led me to Asus Zenfone. Though Asus was new to the Indian market and was waging war with Samsung and Micromax, but still Asus Zenfone held the ground. With my limited budget and said features, I fell for Asus Zenfone.

Asus Zenfone had all my required feature of good camera, good speed, good performance. But then my requirements got changed. I was basically overloaded my mobile with too many apps. My 1 GB RAM was not able to handle. Also anyone with a smartphone would know the worth of good batteries. Just before meetings I used to realize the % of mobile charge left or just before bed the battery will be 17%.

So when I heard about the new Asus Zenfone 2 that's going to be launched I was more than excited. This will be another step in my mobile experience. Gone will be the days when I am hunting for charger that's available for the next 8-10 hrs. Here come Zenfone 2 which charges 60% in mere 39 mins! Also who will not be swooned by the 4GB RAM. Since I already know about pixel master camera of Asus and can vouch that it, so if I get my hands on the new Zenfone 2, I can safely sell my hubs DSLR and become the official photographer in my home. Asus UI was always very reliable with almost nill lag or crash, I would say I am official;y on the prowl to get the new Asus Zenfone 2.

For more info on the new Zenfone, follow the link  http://www.asus.com/Phones/ZenFone_2_ZE551ML/.

Dil Ki Deal

This happened on the 1st year I became a SHAM. That was the time I was running behind 2 kids, one being the naughty toddler of all 3 yrs and the other one the whine crawling baby but equivalent naughty one matching his sister. Being SHAM itself was new and stressful, add to it 2 hyper energetic kids and traveling husband. I had few hairs left itself was a big milestone for me rather the crawling or teething of chintu. In between all this I was still trying to become little more than plain old SHAM is something like a icing on the cake. So that I was the time I was exploring my artistic side of mine. As a self taught artist my house turned into experimental ground for me. I was doing glass painting on my kids study area and also murals wherever I found space. This said exploration usually happened when the said kids are happily sleeping since I didn't want to employ any assistants for my explorations!

This is also the time I was entirely dependent on my husband for the finances. Though my hubs is not a stingy person, still I was very reluctant since that was the starting time I was asking him for money. I was never a hoarder w.r.t. money, as my mother used to say my hand was always open when it comes to spending. But this was the time my hands were empty.

At this juncture came my hubs birthday. As a couple I was always the romantic one, who remembers all birthdays, all anniversary days, engagement days and etc. So imagine my discomfort since I didn't had any thing to spend for my hubs birthday gift, though I wanted to surprise him. That's when an idea came. In this phase I was also experimenting with photography and I had clicked some nice pics of the said better half. So a plan formed.

When kids were sleeping, I used to sneak out and get the pic printed. With my new found artistic side I started creating a photo frame. Since I was just exploring, I started out with paper mache photo frame, then turned into a m-seal mural art and so. It was a pure experiment and I was going with the flow. In the end I had a frame like one which was hardly holding the said photo graph, but it was holding and anyways I wanted it to all come together for one day.

So on the D day I ordered a cake and along with it presented the photo frame to hubs. Though I would say that's the modest gift I gave him I still was happy with it since I made it myself. Needless to say hubs was thrilled, he was surprised by my efforts that he started going thru my other creations of glass painting. So as a return gift he got all my glass paintings framed, though they were so armature, but still for him it held special place. Even though I don't know what happened to that photo frame, I still remember the look on the hubs face and that will be my ultimate prize for following my heart.

I am participating in the #DilKiDealOnSnapdeal activity at BlogAdda in association with SnapDeal and this is part of it.

Serendipity

Do you believe that some people come into our life for a purpose to help us and once that is done and dusted they vanish out? I believe that. May be it also tells that I am not that good in keeping a relationships! But anyways, I remember in my college life, I was the pampered second kid. Though I stayed in hostel during college, my parents where just 3 hours away. So most of the weekends i would be home or if I am stuck because of exams, they will be visiting at my hostel.
But it all changed when my dad got retired at the mid of my graduation. Considering all plus and minus, they decided to shift the base to Chennai. Now I still had almost 2 yrs of college studies left. But they shifted and I was left with traveling home only for extended holidays or at the semester end. Even that travel is increased from a mere 3 hours to 10-12 hrs! In college always you form your circle of friends as per your home town. I was a small village background girl and all my friends also belonged to the same background. But after this shift of my parents, I have now become a Big city gal. Though it brought any change to my friends, I basically didn't had anyone to travel with. I usually ended up traveling to my aunts place in Coimbatore and pick the train from there.
But all these traveling were very new and scary too. As a village gal, the train and the new city was very intimidating. That's when I got introduced to my cousin. Actually his mom and my dad are cousins, so that will make us 2nd or 3rd cousins. He was the Big city boy, who had come to a smaller city for studies. I had met him once when he came to our place once during his admission, but now I saw him more regularly. Since our holidays matched, we ended up traveling together. As train travel goes, we usually sit up chatting for hours just to kill the time. That's the time we discussed up all things. He was like a eye opener. He actually helped me grow up. He was never a authoritative one asking me to follow, but he inspired me to follow. He introduced me to lot of new ideologies, new books, new authors and whole new outlook. I think he never truly knew how much he had influenced me.
From a village gal who never questioned anything and who took things as granted, I know became a matured person. He basically made be prepared for the city life and I am always thankful to him for that. By making fun and gentle nudging he made me less fearful of traveling alone. He made me realize the choices that I have which I never knew before, he increase my horizons. But unfortunately he was senior to me and he completed his graduation before mine. Though we traveled for 3 or 4 times together, he had such a big impact on me. After that life happened and we never kept in touch with each other. That time even e-mails/laptop were not that common. Now thru our common relatives I know where he is and how he is doing, but we don't have any thing common now. He was there in my life, just to teach to grow up and that's the only common thing and nothing more. This happened almost 15 yrs back, but still the lessons are afresh in my mind and that s the impact of his.
Isn't not amazing how life gets us together, just for one purpose.

Digital Age

When I was in my 6th grade in school, I heard that my uncle has gone to US to work and also he is now part of the elite group of ITians. Till that time I had heard of only IIT and never about IT. In my school we had the ranking system. So each of the term test or mid exams we used to get marks and relative ranks in the class. I always belonged to the 'All Pass No Rank' category. I never used to stressed by that but rather more proud to say that! But when I heard that one can be average and still become a member of IT group became an astonishing fact to me that time and I would that's when I decided that I will also the same path. So we as common folks started this movement of ITians flourishing and making way economically. But we never questioned on why all are moving out of India to become an ITian group. We never thought of using the same or exploiting the same in our India itself. This was in early 90s.

Fast forward to now at 2015, we India have become truly digital. Who would have thought that we rather going to the local veggie walla to get our daily vegetables, will end up getting it delivered at our door step. My six year old asks me what I want for my birthday so that he can order it online! Need I say more on how a Big digital world we are in.

When I say digital, its just not the convenience of getting everything in a mouse click, but also the transparency of the same. Before if somebody sends a courier also, we had to call the delivery person for each of the updates and even at the end we never knew when the delivery going to happen. But now every information from start to finish is transparent.

But can we sit back now and say 'ahh' everything is digital. No, we are still taking the baby steps, there are so many place where the same digitilization is missing. Take as instance of our PDS system. Ration card system is still the most backward and corrupt system and every year we hear famine happening in one side and the rations in the PDS shops getting rotten in the other side. Another system is our election process. Is there a place where we can what actual work did each of the contestant did previously. For me digitilization is more about information transparency than about convenience. When you say e-governance, it should be more about the transparency of the system. A true digital age would be that when we have all the information in hand, rather than getting sweeped under the files. Everything will be so available that there wont be a question of corruption.

We are progressing there but as I said still in the baby steps. Our steps should not be staggered till we reach the stage when we can proclaim as truly Digitilized!

This is part of http://www.intel.in/ #DigitalIndia.

So how it started

As I have mentioned before, I am from a conservative Tamil Brahmin family. Rather than saying conservative I would say a middle class family. We were still exploring the boundaries of our 'middle class' ness. Our household was a women majority one, but still my dad always set the standards or value system of our family. My parents had instilled the values without making us a rebel.

For instance my dad used to always tell us that sari is one of the most revealing dress and this thought was instilled that way that neither me nor my sister wanted sari. They never said don't wear or wear only this, but they never encouraged us in wearing one. He used to say bermuda or shorts all allowed but only inside home. He basically protected us from the leering eyes but never wanted to restrict us.
This was always the case in any step we took, they have never tried to restrict, they always gave a preference to our dreams but also they made sure we knew what its costing them. It basically made sure that we don't take unnecessary advantage of what's given. Then we grew up and then the time came for my marriage.
As in any typical middle class family, they started searching for groom. I was apprehensive and scared. But then I found a person whom I wanted to share my future with. So followed the usual cajoling & blackmailing. But I stood my stand though i hurt to do that. Somehow I thought that they will not restrict. In the mean time I had asked for a transfer in my office and when it came thru, I moved out.
It was more a preparation time for both me and my parents. I was still hoping they will change their mind.
Our extended family was a huge one and my parents started roping in one after other. But more the people more the problem started bloating. In the end I decided that its high time I make the decision. That's when I started my new life. Though I cried for the next 5 years for making the decision and till my parents reconciled, still I grew up that day. I started a new life. We were the north meets south jodi. From the language to the value system to the food to the culture, everything we were in the extreme ends, but we started. We grew up together to make a family.
And now after 10 years and two kids into the journey, with all its plus and minus, up and downs, our
journey is still going on. Life's decisions are tough to make, but in the long haul, its what makes us what we are.
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Traffic woes...

Bangalore road traffic is a killer. My office is just a 5 min drive, but yesterday it too me 25 mins because I was stuck. I think if I had walked I would have reached by 10 mins. But there I was stuck in my scooter. As I was cursing myself for getting stuck and was looking around... I saw most of the cars had just one person in it. Seriously occupying so much road space for one person!! It was the same picture whether the car is a maruti alto or a toyota fortruner. Seriously why take a fortruner for your office drive, as far as infrastructure is concerned we are not U.S. neither is U.S. as populated as us. Seriously with so many population we don't have space even for houses than to give space for a wider roads. I wont keep blaming the civic authorities, but at the max I feel we can make a difference. This traffic woe is not only for Bangalore, go to any major city, you will find the same woes..

May be its time we do something about it. I would suggest car pooling as an effective way. I know people have put all their car saving into buying a MUV or SUV, which they might effectivly use for travelling with their family/friends. And they might be so tight financially, they wont be able to afford a two wheeler for their office ride. That's ok, but if at all you are getting your fortruner to office, at least pick some more people.. Seriously we people have to wake up from our attitude to crib about government and civic authorities and start initiating things. I heard there are car pooling groups, which helps you get in touch with people who are up for car pooling.. may be we should start with that..

Family

Parenting is a tough job and that too if the said parenting involves kids in plural. Add to that a hubby who is travelling Monday to Friday and is only home on weekends. On top that say that you are living in sort of joint family with the said hubby brother and co. It just becomes a bit of too many balls to juggle. Though I was a SAHM till last year, not necessarily jobless. I think its something to do with today's notion of 'super mom' concept. No matter how much responsibility you have at home you still have that unbearable desire to become a working mom also. Somehow we cant bear ourselves with just being called as mom.. we always strive to be the one above it! Or as hubby used to point out its just that I want a place where I am not the only responsible adult.

Anyway there I was standing with one too many balls in the air. Work life is always bit tough in IT wherein you will never know when the day is going to be hectic and when its going to be lean. In this you add one or two maid who are as unreliable as they can be. To this there are the said kids, whose immunity is hit with todays environment that no two days are alike. Morning they will leave home bright and shining and return with what not viruses.

The days usually start around 5 in the morning and winds up after 11 in the night. So to repeat, yes parenting is tough, but juggling all the things is more like an impossible task. So there are always good days and bad days. But that's life and more so its a what I had made it. Most times when I sit and think, its actually a marathon that flows from one day to other. Who said family life is easy, may be that's the reason we have so many 'sadhus' propping up each day.

So in a world which is constantly running along with the hands of the clock, where is the place for relaxation or unwinding. In this race, I don't remember when my kids grew up so fast. By the time I learnt the intricacies of parenting, they are in the next stage. But still the positive side of joint family is always there to give you a helping hand. Before marriage or family, when I was a kid, I always used to yearn for someone who could just hug me with no reason and give me the strength for everyday. Being in a conservative south Indian family, the simple expression of love by hugging was always missing.

But after all these years of yearning and almost forgot that something like that exists, there came my nephew. He is the wee small boy of one year, who is ready waiting at my home as soon as I open the door. Before I even ask any one on how the day was, he will pull my dress, asking me to carry him. And as soon as he is in my arms, he will give such a wonderful hug with just one word 'Mamma'. Just at that moment all the tensions that been there and all the tensions that's yet to start.. all will be wiped out. The 'Baby' smell is such a wonder medicine and the love he give is so open, it melts everything. He is the highlight my day without a doubt.
And the main part is that he does the same for his dad, his mom and any one who returns from outside.
Isn't it amazing and what more can you ask for from life. This is home https://housing.com/lookup.

Exam Time

Its exam time and it feels like I am the one who is back in school. I get the same kind of fluttering in my stomach, sleep will be some non existent entity. When one enters the school compound, there is that clench in the stomach and it would feel like empting itself. The school will have a eerie feel to it and there will be so much silence without anyone supervising. Then the eyes would be searching for anything familiar to ward of this tension and then it meets up with your friends. You see the same kind of tension and excitement and before I utter a word I will hear the same thoughts & sentiments from my friends mouth. That feeling that I am not alone in this boat, will be an immediate stress buster. Someone in the gang will ask about some topic and all would start pouring in the answers for the same. That will prove that each one has some holes in their preparation. This would happen for each of the exam days treating each day as an important day.

But rewind to now, I see my kids walk out with not a ounce of tension. They have all the confidence that the world is at their feet. They feel that these exams doesn't validate them. It just something they have to get thru for their parents sake. As such they know that they are very smart and if needed they will finish the exams with flying colors. If some color got smudged, that also no issue, because they are not compelled to cover all colors at all time. They go with that level of confidence.

But in the process they are so confident that as far as studies is concerned they have become a loner. There are no comparisons with friends neither is that they seek comfort from friends, at least not as far as studies is concerned, though all sorts of comparisons happens for 'who has what' contests. They basically miss out on the togetherness they could have with their friends.

May be when they go to higher class and when they actually start feeling the pressure it might change. Though I wouldn't wish that they be pressurized, but I certainly want them to have their own circle of friends with whom they feel that togetherness that I felt.

The world is a boring place to live with just your parents or your partner in crime, everyone needs a circle of people with whom they connect just to say feel that I am not alone I have fair share of people around who are like me. Similarly like  https://housing.com/ which strive to create a place which creates amazing memories.

Ramayana (The Game of Life) Shattered Dreams

Ramayana & Mahabharata are the two great epics of our India. From kids to old folks all have read if not full, at least part of it. There exists so many books about these two. Every author from different fields have tried their hand in interpreting these two epics. But these two are so huge in their content value, no matter how many ways you interpret there seems to exist more to it. Also because of these various interpretation the original ones essence also is lost.

Both these epics gives us lessons for life. Rather than teaching, these two epics tells us via tales on how to lead life. I would even say more than how to lead, they actually tells us what will happen if we live our life this or that way. So essentially it imparts the lesson on how to live life with example rather than lessons. And that's the reason there are so many interpretation of the same. Each person will learn a new thing in it, his/her own life lessons and no two persons interpretation need to be same. I would say that's the greatness of these two epics, even from a point of being a good book.

I would always prefer books which lets me interpret things rather than spelling it to me. That way i will also be interested to learn rather than being taught.

I actually wanted to review about the book Shubha Vilas's "Ramayana - The Game of Life Shattered Dreams" This is series book where in the author wants to interpret 'Ramayana' as it is with least modifications.

Though I haven't read the first part of 'Rise of Sun Prince", but who doesn't know the 'Ramayana' to get the story line. There is no doubt that the author commands an immense knowledge on the subject. His presentation is crisp and clean and he does have a good references that the takes the story in a good phase.

But you know whether its Ramayana or Mahabharata, there is the lesson that all the grief or hardship that one faces in this life is not because of our actions of this life alone but also include the previous life actions. In these epics, each character behaves or faces hardship because of some reason. Nothing is coincidence or fate or luck or randomness, every thing has a meaning. Some how that author didn't bring that in the book.

Coming to the book itself, as I said earlier my choice of books are one which captures readers attention and rather than spoon feeding helps the reader to get their own understanding. This book is for people who like spoon feeding. This is for people who wants to get the clear one way interpretation of the authors story. The reader can just take it in as is, like how you read any book by religious gurus. Somehow that's not my tea cup, I want my book to make me think and allow me the choice to pick what its trying to convey.

So the author has tried spoon feeding thru the sub texts in the each page. One point of book the sub text covers the entire page. Its good because that's what the author wanted to achieve, to put his interpretations and its bad since that's not how I like my books.

The other element I missed in the book is that, we all know Ramayana story and its main lessons. But what I wanted to see is the personal element in the character. Why did Ram did what he did. Though he was a avatar but he was still a human. What went in his mind when he was asked to go on exile, what made him to accept it. Why Kaikeki fall for Mantara's words so easily. These kind of making the character more personal & emotional didn't happen. That is a minus from my stand.
So overall the author has made a good attempt and made good too. But its not my cup of coffee! I would most probably not pick the next part. Because if I wanted to just read Ramayana I will read the original itself.

My Rating: 3/5

Overview of the book

Shattered Dreams is the sequel to the national bestseller, Rise of the Sun Prince, in the new spiritual and motivational series Ramayana - The Game of Life.

Twelve joyful years have passed in Ayodhya since the wedding of Rama and Sita at the end of Book 1.

Now, in Shattered Dreams, Shubha Vilas narrates the riveting drama of Rama’s exile. Through tales of Rama’s unwavering and enigmatic persona, the book teaches us how to handle reversals positively; through Bharata’s actions, it teaches us to handle temptation; and through Sita’s courage, to explore beyond our comfort zone. This complicated family drama provides deep insights on how human relationships work and how they fail.

With Valmiki’s Ramayana as its guiding light, Shattered Dreams deftly entwines poetic beauty from the Kamba Ramayana and Ramacharitramanas, as well as folk philosophy from the Loka Pramana tales, to demonstrate how the ancient epic holds immediate relevance to modern life. Experience the ancient saga of the Ramayana like never before.

About the Author

Shubha Vilas, a spiritual seeker and a motivational speaker, holds a degree in engineering and law with specialization in Patent Law. His leadership seminars are popular with top-level management in corporate houses. He also helps individuals deal with modern-life situations by applying the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, Ramayana and other dharmic traditions

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Extreme Parenting

Have you seen the article in TIME magazine which talks about this extreme parenting. I read a lots of article based on this but haven't read the source article in full. But I want to talk about parenting as such.

When I got pregnant, I remember the excitement and happiness it involved. I used to think about the baby and its growth and that's the only topic in my mind. I was a information hoarder. I used to go berserk online in collecting the info, but I was not a paranoid. The info I got is the fodder for talks with anyone in office or at home I had. I had subscribed to various online forums and I used to get more info from them.

But in all this I never bought a book about parenting. I am a avid reader, I cant go thru a single day without reading books, and this doesn't count the online reading or eBooks. I need to sit with a book in hand at least for 5 min no matter how hectic the day is, else it would be a depressing day. Even after being a book manic I never brought a single book on parenting. Though I read thru so many mommy blogs, which basically gives a consolation that I am not alone in this, I have accomplice. But blogs i refer even for my marriage problems or for in-law problems, basically for just that feeling I am not alone in this suffering. But not as a reference point.

Parenting is always done as per how we(both I & hubs) as parents want it. Mostly inspired from our upbringing. Also some where based on how we thought what our childhood lacked. For instance my MIL was a working mother, but my hubs is totally against giving a working mother to his kids. My mother is stay-at-home mother but I never wanted to give that to my kids.
So our parenting style is more based on who we are rather than how we have been brought up. And a good part is also dependent on how my kids are. I breast feed my eldest till her 1st birthday and I stopped after. She also weaned comfortably. Soon the youngest followed. For him I only feed till 9 months, then he voluntorily stopped feeding.
Till now we co sleep. That's not odd for me, because I co-slept till I am 18 and I don't think that has affected on how attached am I to my parents or how screwed up am I. Due to space constraint we co-slept and due to the same reason we co-sleep with our kids now too. Potty training or eating on their own all are done as per the society demands or as per our needs its done. Not because some book said. May be we are doing all wrong, but parenting is not about some set of rules or procedures. As everyone think its about bringing up kids.
My thumb-rule, I am not screwed up with my parents parenting so my kids also wont be screwed up. More than parenting, kids development is based on what they learn from surrounding. The best I can do is give them a good environment to grow and hope that they learn good.

Second Chance

My fathers family is a huge one and the best part is that my dad has ensured that his family never lost touch with each other. Even now at all of them at an age of 60+ I see them being there for each other during good or bad. And this is not only among themselves they have also encouraged we kids to be the same. This communication was never limited by distance or time. I remember when we were in school though we used to be in some xyz village, all my dad's family used to visit us in turns along with their respective family and when we visit Chennai during summer hols it was like 2 days in each of their homes. Some of my best childhood memories were with my cousins.
But when I see my kids now, I feel they are more disconnected, not only with their cousins but even with any of their friends. So if given a choice below would be things what I want for them

1. Summer vacations with their cousins. Right now they are not able to do that since all them have different vacation times.

2. Simple pleasure of water games with their friends. In my childhood we used to just fill the laundry area with water and play with no gender difference. Now my 5 yrs son is shocked if I ask him to play with his sisters friends stating 'How can I play with girls'

3. Simple pleasure of climbing up trees and passing time. My best time in school days were sitting in trees and enjoying the fruits.

4. Loads of time in beach, with no worries of getting cold or anything.

5. Whiling away their time in doing nothing.

Kids grow up fast and that too in this time they literally mature by the age of 5. My son protests saying how can I touch his private parts. I want them to enjoy and make memories about their childhood and innocence no matter how short it is.
This post is a part of the #SecondChance activity at BlogAdda in association with MaxLife Insurance

My journey

When I became a 'Mother', due to various reasons & beliefs I quit my job. First kid came closely followed by my second. Life with kids is a 24X7 engagement. I missed my coffee breaks, intelligent conversation, basically the 'I' has faded and there only remained 'Mom' part of me.

But the moment kids are bit grownup, I started exploring. Basically I was itching to get back to full time work but I know I cant, so I was looking for the next best thing. Everyone in my family has lost the hope that I will get back to work or they were like I cant pursue because 'who does that with not one but two small kids'. But I always had a regret that I didnt try my best before quitting my work... maybe I should have gave it try and who knows how that would have been.

So this time I started trying things which are safe options. I started with online tutoring, but the pay was less and more so the work hours were very odd. I was getting up 3 in the morning (though I would hardly slept because of kid in the night) then work from 4 till 7, 7 - 8 get the elder kid ready for school and again work from 8 till 9 and then the younger olds chores. It was hectic and all the sleeplessness was getting to you by 3 months into it. So after 6 months I quit that and was again started to search for that 'Next best thing'.

Once my mom asked me saying why are you so bothered in finding a job, relax and enjoy the kids. But somehow my mind was always against that. One day when my kids were playing, my elder daughter said that she is cooking and packing food for my younger boy since she also is like mom. That caught me in the throat. I didn't want my daughter to sell herself short because that's what I did.

So I started again looking for something. That time my hubs used to make fun saying that if I can make 6 figure in a month, then he will quit and take care of kids. So this time I got a freelancing work and it was paying me in $. The work had deadlines but I can choose when I work and which used happen whenever kids are sleeping. The work was good and I did prove my hubs  wrong and was making a 6 figure per month too. But this went for a toss when I had to travel to my in laws place which had very poor internet and with no one to help and with long hours I started getting sick. Also I was not able to stick to my work commitments. That ended that venture after an year I started.

So now I started looking for something outside my home with limited work hours. That's when I landed my current job. Though I fought a huge fight and am still fighting against the prejudices. But still now I have become an inspiration to all the other wives in my complex. All were like 'So she can with 2 kids after a 5 yrs. break why cant we' This also has become my inspiration that I cant let them down by quitting my current job. can I ?

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

This post is also a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Social Media

Every once in a while I see articles in paper which claim that social media puts pressure on people. That time i never stressed on that fact. But recently I faced it. You know how people always post pic in which they are smiling or you always post something when some nice thing have happened, like birthday party pics or holiday pics or wishes messages.

Though we know that social media is a place where people cant cry in public so they always bask in the glory of some nice happenings. But still... when I see these postings, when my life in real is going hay wire.. going thru these posting makes my misery more. I immediately judge that only my life is screwed where as everyone else are all bed of roses! May be this is my human nature, to be jealous of others joy when i have none.

This is because social media is not a place where one to one talks happen, its more like a news paper where you get the other person personal life news. But we who are always involved in one to one communications prior, fail to relate to.

If I state the same in a tee-e-tee with friends I would actually get honest answers which will state that I alone is not the one having miserable life, I have company and that tomorrow this might change to all bed of roses. But this message one can never get in social media, though that person is your friend or best pal, what she/he is posting is for a public audience, and which might not be true state of hers in reality.

Just because that is the only window we have of the other persons life it doesn't mean that that's the one window. That truth should always be there before you socialize in social media!

Cont..

As a follow to my previous post, the following post says all the things I wanted to convey http://www.huffingtonpost.in/priyadarshini-chatterjee/woman-go-choose_b_6542422.html?utm_hp_ref=india

Also every-time somebody utters their opinion, why do we have to rise our hackles.. Its just a opinion which that person is entitled to. At the end of the day we are always the driver in our life, even if we own that control or give to someone else. I believe its always our choice. I remember something I read long along from Vivekananda speeches.."Praise or Blame are like croaking of frogs" I am neither validated by others praise nor am I thrown-in-gutter by others disapproval. I am.

Feminism..

Nowadays this has become a trend.. Everybody is/wants to be a feminist. And everything and anything related to women become feminism. Seriously I don't know what is feminism, I always was familiar with Chauvinism, because that's what I got to witness first hand. But even then I was never taught to hate chauvinist but proclaim feminism. It was just a way to identify chauvinism and accept it or criticize it.
Also both Chauvinism and feminism are relative and that's the reason I think they both being exploited.

My mother always claimed that my dad is a MCP (male chauvinistic pig) because he had a very strict dress code for mom, me & my sister. That's the only reason is was termed MCP. Other than that he used to help mom in kitchen, help her in house keeping, though will never claim in front of mom, but he was always in awe of my mom and her intelligence. For the dress code he had his own reasons. He used to say 'I know how guys look and where all his eyes wander, I don't want you guys to give them a reason' For this matter he never allowed us to wear sari or half sari. He used to allow us to wear any thing at home, but not in front of third person.
So having a dress code so that his gals will not be a prey to all others eyes is practicality to him and chauvinistic to my mom.

My husband says no to leggings for my daughter who is 7 yrs. This makes him a chauvinistic in my eyes. But for him it just being careful. He sees ladies, girls of various ages were variety of cloths and how the guys around him and he himself looks at them and he don't want his own gal to be under that scrutiny.
So point is that chauvinism is something that's individualistic, will vary from person to person on what is chauvinism.

So saying I was reading a blog wherein a gal was crying about 'Feminism' cos her MIL asked her why she is not cooking. This got me into thinking, how can a expectation of an MIL could be anti-feminism. More so why nowadays people are ever ready to fight by pushing anything and everything under different banners, be it for love, be it religion, be in feminism.

Though coming from a conservative background where the husband doesn't even pick the plate after eating, I have seen my mother happily sitting and reading a good book while my dad busy in tidying up the kitchen. Even at age of 70+ it my dad who does swiping of floor at home and mom is the one who cooks and clean vessels. Its just that of sharing, neither of the them talk about feminism/chauvinism.

So now if my MIL says that I need to cook for my kids, would I term that as anti feminism. Its just that of saying take care of your family, cos every time you cant eat out.
I accept different people have different views and everyone will be ready to dump their view on us. But why  raise ones shackles and give all a different color rather than take it as it is given.
May be if we really pause and think before we categorize under different color, then may be we wont work ourselves into this frenzy of violence.