Serendipity

Do you believe that some people come into our life for a purpose to help us and once that is done and dusted they vanish out? I believe that. May be it also tells that I am not that good in keeping a relationships! But anyways, I remember in my college life, I was the pampered second kid. Though I stayed in hostel during college, my parents where just 3 hours away. So most of the weekends i would be home or if I am stuck because of exams, they will be visiting at my hostel.
But it all changed when my dad got retired at the mid of my graduation. Considering all plus and minus, they decided to shift the base to Chennai. Now I still had almost 2 yrs of college studies left. But they shifted and I was left with traveling home only for extended holidays or at the semester end. Even that travel is increased from a mere 3 hours to 10-12 hrs! In college always you form your circle of friends as per your home town. I was a small village background girl and all my friends also belonged to the same background. But after this shift of my parents, I have now become a Big city gal. Though it brought any change to my friends, I basically didn't had anyone to travel with. I usually ended up traveling to my aunts place in Coimbatore and pick the train from there.
But all these traveling were very new and scary too. As a village gal, the train and the new city was very intimidating. That's when I got introduced to my cousin. Actually his mom and my dad are cousins, so that will make us 2nd or 3rd cousins. He was the Big city boy, who had come to a smaller city for studies. I had met him once when he came to our place once during his admission, but now I saw him more regularly. Since our holidays matched, we ended up traveling together. As train travel goes, we usually sit up chatting for hours just to kill the time. That's the time we discussed up all things. He was like a eye opener. He actually helped me grow up. He was never a authoritative one asking me to follow, but he inspired me to follow. He introduced me to lot of new ideologies, new books, new authors and whole new outlook. I think he never truly knew how much he had influenced me.
From a village gal who never questioned anything and who took things as granted, I know became a matured person. He basically made be prepared for the city life and I am always thankful to him for that. By making fun and gentle nudging he made me less fearful of traveling alone. He made me realize the choices that I have which I never knew before, he increase my horizons. But unfortunately he was senior to me and he completed his graduation before mine. Though we traveled for 3 or 4 times together, he had such a big impact on me. After that life happened and we never kept in touch with each other. That time even e-mails/laptop were not that common. Now thru our common relatives I know where he is and how he is doing, but we don't have any thing common now. He was there in my life, just to teach to grow up and that's the only common thing and nothing more. This happened almost 15 yrs back, but still the lessons are afresh in my mind and that s the impact of his.
Isn't not amazing how life gets us together, just for one purpose.

Digital Age

When I was in my 6th grade in school, I heard that my uncle has gone to US to work and also he is now part of the elite group of ITians. Till that time I had heard of only IIT and never about IT. In my school we had the ranking system. So each of the term test or mid exams we used to get marks and relative ranks in the class. I always belonged to the 'All Pass No Rank' category. I never used to stressed by that but rather more proud to say that! But when I heard that one can be average and still become a member of IT group became an astonishing fact to me that time and I would that's when I decided that I will also the same path. So we as common folks started this movement of ITians flourishing and making way economically. But we never questioned on why all are moving out of India to become an ITian group. We never thought of using the same or exploiting the same in our India itself. This was in early 90s.

Fast forward to now at 2015, we India have become truly digital. Who would have thought that we rather going to the local veggie walla to get our daily vegetables, will end up getting it delivered at our door step. My six year old asks me what I want for my birthday so that he can order it online! Need I say more on how a Big digital world we are in.

When I say digital, its just not the convenience of getting everything in a mouse click, but also the transparency of the same. Before if somebody sends a courier also, we had to call the delivery person for each of the updates and even at the end we never knew when the delivery going to happen. But now every information from start to finish is transparent.

But can we sit back now and say 'ahh' everything is digital. No, we are still taking the baby steps, there are so many place where the same digitilization is missing. Take as instance of our PDS system. Ration card system is still the most backward and corrupt system and every year we hear famine happening in one side and the rations in the PDS shops getting rotten in the other side. Another system is our election process. Is there a place where we can what actual work did each of the contestant did previously. For me digitilization is more about information transparency than about convenience. When you say e-governance, it should be more about the transparency of the system. A true digital age would be that when we have all the information in hand, rather than getting sweeped under the files. Everything will be so available that there wont be a question of corruption.

We are progressing there but as I said still in the baby steps. Our steps should not be staggered till we reach the stage when we can proclaim as truly Digitilized!

This is part of http://www.intel.in/ #DigitalIndia.

So how it started

As I have mentioned before, I am from a conservative Tamil Brahmin family. Rather than saying conservative I would say a middle class family. We were still exploring the boundaries of our 'middle class' ness. Our household was a women majority one, but still my dad always set the standards or value system of our family. My parents had instilled the values without making us a rebel.

For instance my dad used to always tell us that sari is one of the most revealing dress and this thought was instilled that way that neither me nor my sister wanted sari. They never said don't wear or wear only this, but they never encouraged us in wearing one. He used to say bermuda or shorts all allowed but only inside home. He basically protected us from the leering eyes but never wanted to restrict us.
This was always the case in any step we took, they have never tried to restrict, they always gave a preference to our dreams but also they made sure we knew what its costing them. It basically made sure that we don't take unnecessary advantage of what's given. Then we grew up and then the time came for my marriage.
As in any typical middle class family, they started searching for groom. I was apprehensive and scared. But then I found a person whom I wanted to share my future with. So followed the usual cajoling & blackmailing. But I stood my stand though i hurt to do that. Somehow I thought that they will not restrict. In the mean time I had asked for a transfer in my office and when it came thru, I moved out.
It was more a preparation time for both me and my parents. I was still hoping they will change their mind.
Our extended family was a huge one and my parents started roping in one after other. But more the people more the problem started bloating. In the end I decided that its high time I make the decision. That's when I started my new life. Though I cried for the next 5 years for making the decision and till my parents reconciled, still I grew up that day. I started a new life. We were the north meets south jodi. From the language to the value system to the food to the culture, everything we were in the extreme ends, but we started. We grew up together to make a family.
And now after 10 years and two kids into the journey, with all its plus and minus, up and downs, our
journey is still going on. Life's decisions are tough to make, but in the long haul, its what makes us what we are.
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Traffic woes...

Bangalore road traffic is a killer. My office is just a 5 min drive, but yesterday it too me 25 mins because I was stuck. I think if I had walked I would have reached by 10 mins. But there I was stuck in my scooter. As I was cursing myself for getting stuck and was looking around... I saw most of the cars had just one person in it. Seriously occupying so much road space for one person!! It was the same picture whether the car is a maruti alto or a toyota fortruner. Seriously why take a fortruner for your office drive, as far as infrastructure is concerned we are not U.S. neither is U.S. as populated as us. Seriously with so many population we don't have space even for houses than to give space for a wider roads. I wont keep blaming the civic authorities, but at the max I feel we can make a difference. This traffic woe is not only for Bangalore, go to any major city, you will find the same woes..

May be its time we do something about it. I would suggest car pooling as an effective way. I know people have put all their car saving into buying a MUV or SUV, which they might effectivly use for travelling with their family/friends. And they might be so tight financially, they wont be able to afford a two wheeler for their office ride. That's ok, but if at all you are getting your fortruner to office, at least pick some more people.. Seriously we people have to wake up from our attitude to crib about government and civic authorities and start initiating things. I heard there are car pooling groups, which helps you get in touch with people who are up for car pooling.. may be we should start with that..

Family

Parenting is a tough job and that too if the said parenting involves kids in plural. Add to that a hubby who is travelling Monday to Friday and is only home on weekends. On top that say that you are living in sort of joint family with the said hubby brother and co. It just becomes a bit of too many balls to juggle. Though I was a SAHM till last year, not necessarily jobless. I think its something to do with today's notion of 'super mom' concept. No matter how much responsibility you have at home you still have that unbearable desire to become a working mom also. Somehow we cant bear ourselves with just being called as mom.. we always strive to be the one above it! Or as hubby used to point out its just that I want a place where I am not the only responsible adult.

Anyway there I was standing with one too many balls in the air. Work life is always bit tough in IT wherein you will never know when the day is going to be hectic and when its going to be lean. In this you add one or two maid who are as unreliable as they can be. To this there are the said kids, whose immunity is hit with todays environment that no two days are alike. Morning they will leave home bright and shining and return with what not viruses.

The days usually start around 5 in the morning and winds up after 11 in the night. So to repeat, yes parenting is tough, but juggling all the things is more like an impossible task. So there are always good days and bad days. But that's life and more so its a what I had made it. Most times when I sit and think, its actually a marathon that flows from one day to other. Who said family life is easy, may be that's the reason we have so many 'sadhus' propping up each day.

So in a world which is constantly running along with the hands of the clock, where is the place for relaxation or unwinding. In this race, I don't remember when my kids grew up so fast. By the time I learnt the intricacies of parenting, they are in the next stage. But still the positive side of joint family is always there to give you a helping hand. Before marriage or family, when I was a kid, I always used to yearn for someone who could just hug me with no reason and give me the strength for everyday. Being in a conservative south Indian family, the simple expression of love by hugging was always missing.

But after all these years of yearning and almost forgot that something like that exists, there came my nephew. He is the wee small boy of one year, who is ready waiting at my home as soon as I open the door. Before I even ask any one on how the day was, he will pull my dress, asking me to carry him. And as soon as he is in my arms, he will give such a wonderful hug with just one word 'Mamma'. Just at that moment all the tensions that been there and all the tensions that's yet to start.. all will be wiped out. The 'Baby' smell is such a wonder medicine and the love he give is so open, it melts everything. He is the highlight my day without a doubt.
And the main part is that he does the same for his dad, his mom and any one who returns from outside.
Isn't it amazing and what more can you ask for from life. This is home https://housing.com/lookup.

Exam Time

Its exam time and it feels like I am the one who is back in school. I get the same kind of fluttering in my stomach, sleep will be some non existent entity. When one enters the school compound, there is that clench in the stomach and it would feel like empting itself. The school will have a eerie feel to it and there will be so much silence without anyone supervising. Then the eyes would be searching for anything familiar to ward of this tension and then it meets up with your friends. You see the same kind of tension and excitement and before I utter a word I will hear the same thoughts & sentiments from my friends mouth. That feeling that I am not alone in this boat, will be an immediate stress buster. Someone in the gang will ask about some topic and all would start pouring in the answers for the same. That will prove that each one has some holes in their preparation. This would happen for each of the exam days treating each day as an important day.

But rewind to now, I see my kids walk out with not a ounce of tension. They have all the confidence that the world is at their feet. They feel that these exams doesn't validate them. It just something they have to get thru for their parents sake. As such they know that they are very smart and if needed they will finish the exams with flying colors. If some color got smudged, that also no issue, because they are not compelled to cover all colors at all time. They go with that level of confidence.

But in the process they are so confident that as far as studies is concerned they have become a loner. There are no comparisons with friends neither is that they seek comfort from friends, at least not as far as studies is concerned, though all sorts of comparisons happens for 'who has what' contests. They basically miss out on the togetherness they could have with their friends.

May be when they go to higher class and when they actually start feeling the pressure it might change. Though I wouldn't wish that they be pressurized, but I certainly want them to have their own circle of friends with whom they feel that togetherness that I felt.

The world is a boring place to live with just your parents or your partner in crime, everyone needs a circle of people with whom they connect just to say feel that I am not alone I have fair share of people around who are like me. Similarly like  https://housing.com/ which strive to create a place which creates amazing memories.