Complications

So when everything was actually going good.. all Vibha's things are here, we all set for the birthing class and so and so... So we were thinking now on all the doc appointments are going to be a 10 mins check and doc giving us all good sign. But no thats not how it went in real. We went for the doc appointment and doc gave me a jolt saying that me platelet count seems to be down.. she said that last time it was lill bit less so she thought of rechecking this time, and this time it was way too low.. she said it could be Toximia so was running tests on me for that. I heard about Toximia but never thought I would actually get it! But the good thing is that I didnt have any other symptoms of it so the doc was not so sure whether it would be that. So thats a good news?! Actually no, doc wants to know the reason on what is causing this low count, so got referred to another doc.

So that night it was a tense situation at home. Hubs was very upset, since 1 point doc said was even though its not Toximia, if this low count continous there could be problem during labour.. might be more bleeding, doc wont give me epidural and problem for c-sec... My mind was blank that night since we dont have any concerete problem in hand.. thought I cried all way from doc office to home, since I was scared for my baby.. what if she has to come out early, how she would survive.. My worry were not that something would happen to me..

I know it sounds like a all-sacrificing-mom statement, but really I know I will survive, but was so much more scared for Vibha...say mom-concern, nothing different from other moms i think.
So hubs, sis, MIL, BIL everyone were scolding that something is wrong with my eating...so that night rather than eating what i liked, i just ate what my hubs told me to eat. its mainly done for hubs cos he was so much upset and scared... and other being i know nothing i'll lose if i maintain this for the next 9 weeks if it can help in anyway to Vibha...

So next day, went to the The other doc, again did some blood test.. The gud news is that they said the count has increased a bit from the day before!!! But still the count is less and they dont know what is causing it. So they wanted to run other tests and also do an ultrasound...
So that night, we passed the relieving news to all and everybody were telling their own home remedy solutions... The thing, nobody is aware of any complication like this.. but still they were giving some solution which could help.. nothing out of blue, but common things like sugar in milk, ghee is food, wheat sprouts, yoga n so. My MIL gave me slogam to read, she said that she is reading it on my behalf but it would be good if I can also read it... she was so upset saying that you people are so far off and even if wanted to she cant come...

Hubs was really touched by this action of hers. In his eyes there is no one like his mom and this kinda added one more point to her. May be I am lucky, or may be chosed him after assessing his whole package :)
So as of now... we are running around from one hospital to another to investigate the source of problem... I am keeping my fingers crossed.. Let her live inside for another 8 odd weeks. For that i can eating anything, anything for that...

Last 10 Weeks

Most of the items in the checklist is stroked out.. Got a brown/yellow checked stroller last weekend. So that covers all the major things for kutti... So with just 10 more weeks to go.. we are even attending the delivery class this month...the stage is all set for her arrival!
Last week hubs mom was telling that as per custom the baby cant wear anything new for the 1st week!! She is planning to get the used cloth of hubs sister's son!! I don't like the idea..not a bit. When kutti comes it will be mid autumn and I am pretty much sure a colder climate.. In that I can imagine kutti in a thin cotton dress.. But who can I express my dislike too.. We already have got her some cute onsies and all...but now I have to see her in some worn out clothes :( But my sis gave an idea that u can wear the old cloth and then the new one on top of it!!! But why old clothes...I dont like it at all...even though its gonna be for 1 week only...
Till now when I made a decision about my marriage, I all went with hubs side customs.. from the way diya is lighted to everything.. I wasn't a big deal for me. for one i didn't fully known my customs..though it sound pathetic, but when i was with my parents.. mom used to do elaborate puja n customs, which i just followed. I didn't sit n learn it. So once married and with my mom not there to tell me.. I just had hubs mom's guidance.. Though some of it where bizarre and different, it didn't matter to me. I know that hubs mom doesn't have high opinion of me n its still a very fragile link with only hubs as a binding string. So all the complaints were received with closed ears , closed mind and a vague smile. But the question arises now is that would I be able to hold the same stance now also...
Its a vague feeling...its just that I am scared that my voice wont be heard w.r.t. my kid's life :( I don't know for sure whether this fear will become reality or not... may be i am overreacting or may be prego hormones are causing all this... But its there.. would I blow up, would I regret about it n all stuffs are there.. For now its just a wait n watch phase.

Back to square one

So.. am back to work. Though haven't got such a tight schedule.. still work is work correct. So am back to my old routine of getting up at 6 and rushing off to work... We also started with buying stuffs for Vibha...I was little skeptic of pinky stuffs, but hubs want everything in pink!! So now our kutti is gona be bundled up in pink, pink onsie, pink blanket, towel, cap, socks!! Hopefully I can convince hubs for non-pink stroller :) So other than stroller and crib we have everything!! Other day we were looking for some cutie frocks for 'kutti' but couldn't get any...Times like these only I miss TNagar... wish I could go there and get some kutti kutti dress :) So its 70 odd days more...then we will have our bundle of joy in hand!! U know sometime I feel so alone with not one soul in earth for me..hubs has his parents but whose there for me, who will stand behind me for support at all times.. When ever me n hubs get into the usual kutti fights, the thought that comes is I don't have anyone. So now with Vibha on her way out, can I hope she will be ??!! But I know, since i never was behind my mom for support how can Vibha be any different.. So its going to be just me, may be with hubs and kutti taking part! Thinking these thoughts makes life even more lonely. Is this all cos of some pregee hormones... i wonder