I was a SHAM/WFHM for the past 5 years and only recently moved to being a working mother. So when I say I was a SHAM it means just that, it does not include various vacations, outings or entertainments. So what I learnt
1. Being a mother is The toughest job, give me anytime the hectic work I would say that is easy-peesy, but being a mother is not. Add to it being a mother of 2 kids!
2. Mother is just not responsible for the kids, she is answerable to Everyone, that includes the hubs, his parents, your parents, maids, milkman and literally everyone who walks and talks!
3. Anything wrong with the kids, the blame is on the mother. period.
But these are just that of being a mother...what about SHAM. You know this concept of SHAM itself is recent... In my mother's days there was not distinction. Mothers were always mothers, they were judged if they were not trying to be super mother. All were just mothers. period.
But now we ourselves itself want to justify on why we are not the living Supermom. Since we all have tasted the blood of working and being independent, we always feel that we are lacking if we just settle for being moms. We want more! Its well and good for some who actually raises to that bar, but for those who doesn't....
We were always an ordinary couple, we didn't had honeymoon trips and we don't go on holidays or movies or weekly restaurant's even when were the newly wedded couple.
So when I become SHAM, it was just the kids and me and home. What I misses most of being a working mother, is the coffee breaks and the idle chatters! Also there was that nagging thing on the back of the head which kept saying that I am not being the Supermom.. In that 5 years I tried various thing from painting, art, online tutoring, freelancing and still people were judging as not a super mom. Somehow it was stifling and you are being accused as not trying hard.
Once my mom asked on why you are beating yourself...you can just be a simple mother like me. But see in her days all were just simple mothers and not her or her family had tasted the 'blood' so it was all well and good. But for me its not just me who have tasted 'blood' its my family too. There were days were in hubs would make wayward comment on how I am wasting my good old degree or when kids make casual comments on how she will grow up and be at home while pack box for my office going son. It suddenly pricks you and makes you question on why are you not being a supermom so as to get your family in line.
So now I am back in the grind. But does this means I am super mom....I guess something's will not change and one will always be over judged mother, whether you are a SHAM or a working mother. Everyday is a judgment day!
1. Being a mother is The toughest job, give me anytime the hectic work I would say that is easy-peesy, but being a mother is not. Add to it being a mother of 2 kids!
2. Mother is just not responsible for the kids, she is answerable to Everyone, that includes the hubs, his parents, your parents, maids, milkman and literally everyone who walks and talks!
3. Anything wrong with the kids, the blame is on the mother. period.
But these are just that of being a mother...what about SHAM. You know this concept of SHAM itself is recent... In my mother's days there was not distinction. Mothers were always mothers, they were judged if they were not trying to be super mother. All were just mothers. period.
But now we ourselves itself want to justify on why we are not the living Supermom. Since we all have tasted the blood of working and being independent, we always feel that we are lacking if we just settle for being moms. We want more! Its well and good for some who actually raises to that bar, but for those who doesn't....
We were always an ordinary couple, we didn't had honeymoon trips and we don't go on holidays or movies or weekly restaurant's even when were the newly wedded couple.
So when I become SHAM, it was just the kids and me and home. What I misses most of being a working mother, is the coffee breaks and the idle chatters! Also there was that nagging thing on the back of the head which kept saying that I am not being the Supermom.. In that 5 years I tried various thing from painting, art, online tutoring, freelancing and still people were judging as not a super mom. Somehow it was stifling and you are being accused as not trying hard.
Once my mom asked on why you are beating yourself...you can just be a simple mother like me. But see in her days all were just simple mothers and not her or her family had tasted the 'blood' so it was all well and good. But for me its not just me who have tasted 'blood' its my family too. There were days were in hubs would make wayward comment on how I am wasting my good old degree or when kids make casual comments on how she will grow up and be at home while pack box for my office going son. It suddenly pricks you and makes you question on why are you not being a supermom so as to get your family in line.
So now I am back in the grind. But does this means I am super mom....I guess something's will not change and one will always be over judged mother, whether you are a SHAM or a working mother. Everyday is a judgment day!
