Ramayana (The Game of Life) Shattered Dreams

Ramayana & Mahabharata are the two great epics of our India. From kids to old folks all have read if not full, at least part of it. There exists so many books about these two. Every author from different fields have tried their hand in interpreting these two epics. But these two are so huge in their content value, no matter how many ways you interpret there seems to exist more to it. Also because of these various interpretation the original ones essence also is lost.

Both these epics gives us lessons for life. Rather than teaching, these two epics tells us via tales on how to lead life. I would even say more than how to lead, they actually tells us what will happen if we live our life this or that way. So essentially it imparts the lesson on how to live life with example rather than lessons. And that's the reason there are so many interpretation of the same. Each person will learn a new thing in it, his/her own life lessons and no two persons interpretation need to be same. I would say that's the greatness of these two epics, even from a point of being a good book.

I would always prefer books which lets me interpret things rather than spelling it to me. That way i will also be interested to learn rather than being taught.

I actually wanted to review about the book Shubha Vilas's "Ramayana - The Game of Life Shattered Dreams" This is series book where in the author wants to interpret 'Ramayana' as it is with least modifications.

Though I haven't read the first part of 'Rise of Sun Prince", but who doesn't know the 'Ramayana' to get the story line. There is no doubt that the author commands an immense knowledge on the subject. His presentation is crisp and clean and he does have a good references that the takes the story in a good phase.

But you know whether its Ramayana or Mahabharata, there is the lesson that all the grief or hardship that one faces in this life is not because of our actions of this life alone but also include the previous life actions. In these epics, each character behaves or faces hardship because of some reason. Nothing is coincidence or fate or luck or randomness, every thing has a meaning. Some how that author didn't bring that in the book.

Coming to the book itself, as I said earlier my choice of books are one which captures readers attention and rather than spoon feeding helps the reader to get their own understanding. This book is for people who like spoon feeding. This is for people who wants to get the clear one way interpretation of the authors story. The reader can just take it in as is, like how you read any book by religious gurus. Somehow that's not my tea cup, I want my book to make me think and allow me the choice to pick what its trying to convey.

So the author has tried spoon feeding thru the sub texts in the each page. One point of book the sub text covers the entire page. Its good because that's what the author wanted to achieve, to put his interpretations and its bad since that's not how I like my books.

The other element I missed in the book is that, we all know Ramayana story and its main lessons. But what I wanted to see is the personal element in the character. Why did Ram did what he did. Though he was a avatar but he was still a human. What went in his mind when he was asked to go on exile, what made him to accept it. Why Kaikeki fall for Mantara's words so easily. These kind of making the character more personal & emotional didn't happen. That is a minus from my stand.
So overall the author has made a good attempt and made good too. But its not my cup of coffee! I would most probably not pick the next part. Because if I wanted to just read Ramayana I will read the original itself.

My Rating: 3/5

Overview of the book

Shattered Dreams is the sequel to the national bestseller, Rise of the Sun Prince, in the new spiritual and motivational series Ramayana - The Game of Life.

Twelve joyful years have passed in Ayodhya since the wedding of Rama and Sita at the end of Book 1.

Now, in Shattered Dreams, Shubha Vilas narrates the riveting drama of Rama’s exile. Through tales of Rama’s unwavering and enigmatic persona, the book teaches us how to handle reversals positively; through Bharata’s actions, it teaches us to handle temptation; and through Sita’s courage, to explore beyond our comfort zone. This complicated family drama provides deep insights on how human relationships work and how they fail.

With Valmiki’s Ramayana as its guiding light, Shattered Dreams deftly entwines poetic beauty from the Kamba Ramayana and Ramacharitramanas, as well as folk philosophy from the Loka Pramana tales, to demonstrate how the ancient epic holds immediate relevance to modern life. Experience the ancient saga of the Ramayana like never before.

About the Author

Shubha Vilas, a spiritual seeker and a motivational speaker, holds a degree in engineering and law with specialization in Patent Law. His leadership seminars are popular with top-level management in corporate houses. He also helps individuals deal with modern-life situations by applying the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, Ramayana and other dharmic traditions

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Extreme Parenting

Have you seen the article in TIME magazine which talks about this extreme parenting. I read a lots of article based on this but haven't read the source article in full. But I want to talk about parenting as such.

When I got pregnant, I remember the excitement and happiness it involved. I used to think about the baby and its growth and that's the only topic in my mind. I was a information hoarder. I used to go berserk online in collecting the info, but I was not a paranoid. The info I got is the fodder for talks with anyone in office or at home I had. I had subscribed to various online forums and I used to get more info from them.

But in all this I never bought a book about parenting. I am a avid reader, I cant go thru a single day without reading books, and this doesn't count the online reading or eBooks. I need to sit with a book in hand at least for 5 min no matter how hectic the day is, else it would be a depressing day. Even after being a book manic I never brought a single book on parenting. Though I read thru so many mommy blogs, which basically gives a consolation that I am not alone in this, I have accomplice. But blogs i refer even for my marriage problems or for in-law problems, basically for just that feeling I am not alone in this suffering. But not as a reference point.

Parenting is always done as per how we(both I & hubs) as parents want it. Mostly inspired from our upbringing. Also some where based on how we thought what our childhood lacked. For instance my MIL was a working mother, but my hubs is totally against giving a working mother to his kids. My mother is stay-at-home mother but I never wanted to give that to my kids.
So our parenting style is more based on who we are rather than how we have been brought up. And a good part is also dependent on how my kids are. I breast feed my eldest till her 1st birthday and I stopped after. She also weaned comfortably. Soon the youngest followed. For him I only feed till 9 months, then he voluntorily stopped feeding.
Till now we co sleep. That's not odd for me, because I co-slept till I am 18 and I don't think that has affected on how attached am I to my parents or how screwed up am I. Due to space constraint we co-slept and due to the same reason we co-sleep with our kids now too. Potty training or eating on their own all are done as per the society demands or as per our needs its done. Not because some book said. May be we are doing all wrong, but parenting is not about some set of rules or procedures. As everyone think its about bringing up kids.
My thumb-rule, I am not screwed up with my parents parenting so my kids also wont be screwed up. More than parenting, kids development is based on what they learn from surrounding. The best I can do is give them a good environment to grow and hope that they learn good.

Second Chance

My fathers family is a huge one and the best part is that my dad has ensured that his family never lost touch with each other. Even now at all of them at an age of 60+ I see them being there for each other during good or bad. And this is not only among themselves they have also encouraged we kids to be the same. This communication was never limited by distance or time. I remember when we were in school though we used to be in some xyz village, all my dad's family used to visit us in turns along with their respective family and when we visit Chennai during summer hols it was like 2 days in each of their homes. Some of my best childhood memories were with my cousins.
But when I see my kids now, I feel they are more disconnected, not only with their cousins but even with any of their friends. So if given a choice below would be things what I want for them

1. Summer vacations with their cousins. Right now they are not able to do that since all them have different vacation times.

2. Simple pleasure of water games with their friends. In my childhood we used to just fill the laundry area with water and play with no gender difference. Now my 5 yrs son is shocked if I ask him to play with his sisters friends stating 'How can I play with girls'

3. Simple pleasure of climbing up trees and passing time. My best time in school days were sitting in trees and enjoying the fruits.

4. Loads of time in beach, with no worries of getting cold or anything.

5. Whiling away their time in doing nothing.

Kids grow up fast and that too in this time they literally mature by the age of 5. My son protests saying how can I touch his private parts. I want them to enjoy and make memories about their childhood and innocence no matter how short it is.
This post is a part of the #SecondChance activity at BlogAdda in association with MaxLife Insurance

My journey

When I became a 'Mother', due to various reasons & beliefs I quit my job. First kid came closely followed by my second. Life with kids is a 24X7 engagement. I missed my coffee breaks, intelligent conversation, basically the 'I' has faded and there only remained 'Mom' part of me.

But the moment kids are bit grownup, I started exploring. Basically I was itching to get back to full time work but I know I cant, so I was looking for the next best thing. Everyone in my family has lost the hope that I will get back to work or they were like I cant pursue because 'who does that with not one but two small kids'. But I always had a regret that I didnt try my best before quitting my work... maybe I should have gave it try and who knows how that would have been.

So this time I started trying things which are safe options. I started with online tutoring, but the pay was less and more so the work hours were very odd. I was getting up 3 in the morning (though I would hardly slept because of kid in the night) then work from 4 till 7, 7 - 8 get the elder kid ready for school and again work from 8 till 9 and then the younger olds chores. It was hectic and all the sleeplessness was getting to you by 3 months into it. So after 6 months I quit that and was again started to search for that 'Next best thing'.

Once my mom asked me saying why are you so bothered in finding a job, relax and enjoy the kids. But somehow my mind was always against that. One day when my kids were playing, my elder daughter said that she is cooking and packing food for my younger boy since she also is like mom. That caught me in the throat. I didn't want my daughter to sell herself short because that's what I did.

So I started again looking for something. That time my hubs used to make fun saying that if I can make 6 figure in a month, then he will quit and take care of kids. So this time I got a freelancing work and it was paying me in $. The work had deadlines but I can choose when I work and which used happen whenever kids are sleeping. The work was good and I did prove my hubs  wrong and was making a 6 figure per month too. But this went for a toss when I had to travel to my in laws place which had very poor internet and with no one to help and with long hours I started getting sick. Also I was not able to stick to my work commitments. That ended that venture after an year I started.

So now I started looking for something outside my home with limited work hours. That's when I landed my current job. Though I fought a huge fight and am still fighting against the prejudices. But still now I have become an inspiration to all the other wives in my complex. All were like 'So she can with 2 kids after a 5 yrs. break why cant we' This also has become my inspiration that I cant let them down by quitting my current job. can I ?

“This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

This post is also a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda

Social Media

Every once in a while I see articles in paper which claim that social media puts pressure on people. That time i never stressed on that fact. But recently I faced it. You know how people always post pic in which they are smiling or you always post something when some nice thing have happened, like birthday party pics or holiday pics or wishes messages.

Though we know that social media is a place where people cant cry in public so they always bask in the glory of some nice happenings. But still... when I see these postings, when my life in real is going hay wire.. going thru these posting makes my misery more. I immediately judge that only my life is screwed where as everyone else are all bed of roses! May be this is my human nature, to be jealous of others joy when i have none.

This is because social media is not a place where one to one talks happen, its more like a news paper where you get the other person personal life news. But we who are always involved in one to one communications prior, fail to relate to.

If I state the same in a tee-e-tee with friends I would actually get honest answers which will state that I alone is not the one having miserable life, I have company and that tomorrow this might change to all bed of roses. But this message one can never get in social media, though that person is your friend or best pal, what she/he is posting is for a public audience, and which might not be true state of hers in reality.

Just because that is the only window we have of the other persons life it doesn't mean that that's the one window. That truth should always be there before you socialize in social media!

Cont..

As a follow to my previous post, the following post says all the things I wanted to convey http://www.huffingtonpost.in/priyadarshini-chatterjee/woman-go-choose_b_6542422.html?utm_hp_ref=india

Also every-time somebody utters their opinion, why do we have to rise our hackles.. Its just a opinion which that person is entitled to. At the end of the day we are always the driver in our life, even if we own that control or give to someone else. I believe its always our choice. I remember something I read long along from Vivekananda speeches.."Praise or Blame are like croaking of frogs" I am neither validated by others praise nor am I thrown-in-gutter by others disapproval. I am.

Feminism..

Nowadays this has become a trend.. Everybody is/wants to be a feminist. And everything and anything related to women become feminism. Seriously I don't know what is feminism, I always was familiar with Chauvinism, because that's what I got to witness first hand. But even then I was never taught to hate chauvinist but proclaim feminism. It was just a way to identify chauvinism and accept it or criticize it.
Also both Chauvinism and feminism are relative and that's the reason I think they both being exploited.

My mother always claimed that my dad is a MCP (male chauvinistic pig) because he had a very strict dress code for mom, me & my sister. That's the only reason is was termed MCP. Other than that he used to help mom in kitchen, help her in house keeping, though will never claim in front of mom, but he was always in awe of my mom and her intelligence. For the dress code he had his own reasons. He used to say 'I know how guys look and where all his eyes wander, I don't want you guys to give them a reason' For this matter he never allowed us to wear sari or half sari. He used to allow us to wear any thing at home, but not in front of third person.
So having a dress code so that his gals will not be a prey to all others eyes is practicality to him and chauvinistic to my mom.

My husband says no to leggings for my daughter who is 7 yrs. This makes him a chauvinistic in my eyes. But for him it just being careful. He sees ladies, girls of various ages were variety of cloths and how the guys around him and he himself looks at them and he don't want his own gal to be under that scrutiny.
So point is that chauvinism is something that's individualistic, will vary from person to person on what is chauvinism.

So saying I was reading a blog wherein a gal was crying about 'Feminism' cos her MIL asked her why she is not cooking. This got me into thinking, how can a expectation of an MIL could be anti-feminism. More so why nowadays people are ever ready to fight by pushing anything and everything under different banners, be it for love, be it religion, be in feminism.

Though coming from a conservative background where the husband doesn't even pick the plate after eating, I have seen my mother happily sitting and reading a good book while my dad busy in tidying up the kitchen. Even at age of 70+ it my dad who does swiping of floor at home and mom is the one who cooks and clean vessels. Its just that of sharing, neither of the them talk about feminism/chauvinism.

So now if my MIL says that I need to cook for my kids, would I term that as anti feminism. Its just that of saying take care of your family, cos every time you cant eat out.
I accept different people have different views and everyone will be ready to dump their view on us. But why  raise ones shackles and give all a different color rather than take it as it is given.
May be if we really pause and think before we categorize under different color, then may be we wont work ourselves into this frenzy of violence.